Christmas. For 80 plus % of Americans, it is a very special time of year. It is the time we set aside for the celebration of the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Oh yes, the commercialization sure seems to take center stage, but He is still the reason for the season.
Each year though, I tend to recall a Christmas time in 1969. It is one that I still have some regret over.
Allow this disclaimer - I am not, nor ever was, a War Hero. But, I was a soldier, stationed in Vietnam, with the 101st Airborne Division. I was a field soldier...a Grunt...Ground Pounder... Stump Jumper...and Infantryman. I was a Squad Leader and we were working the lowlands that December. Those lowlands were near the base of the mountains, and we worked from the rice paddies to the foothills, looking for Charlie and the NVA.
I hadn't planned being anywhere but "out in the bush" for the Holidays. My R&R (Rest & Relaxation) wasn't to be until around March. But, something came up and Tokyo became available for a R&R destination over Christmas. At first, I turned it down, as did everyone else in the squad. Tokyo really wasn't that desirable for R&R and most of us wanted Australia or Thailand.
On that day though, I sat there, getting my gear ready for another evening patrol and night-time ambush set-up. I started thinking about the Christmases at home, in my youth, and how our family aways looked forward to Christmas, the dinners, the friends, church, and the gifts. It was a special time for our family, much like the rest of America.
As I thought more about it, I thought about how Christmases would be for my family, should I get my butt killed over Christmas in Vietnam. The more I thought about it, the more concerned I was that it could happen, and how that could effect the Holidays for my folks and siblings from there after. It was a sobering thought, one I didn't want to have come true.
One needs to also understand something about that time, at least for me and I think for many of us. There was a time, when you sorta give in to the idea that you won't go home. Not that you have a death wish, but more of an acceptance of the very real possibility that we lived with each day.
The more I thought about it, the less of a chance I wanted to take of having that fear come true. For me, dying wasn't the issue right then, it was dying during the Christmas Holiday. I just didn't want that to happen. Any other time, I was prepared for, but not Christmas.
I asked the guys again of anyone wanted to take Tokyo for R&R, and there were no takers. So, I let my Lieutenant know that I wanted to take the Tokyo R&R.
From December 23rd, 1969, to January 2nd, 1970, I was in Japan for the Holidays. Yes, I had a good time and saw lots of sights and celebrated the New Year is fine fashion. I was able to call home, and wish the family well while I was there. I bought my mom some real pearls too.
But, I couldn't help but worry about "the guys" back in Vietnam...in the bush...and if any of them were hurt or killed. I drank heavily, just to ease those thoughts.
When I got back to the field, I was relieved to find all the guys well. In fact, there wasn't any real problems during my absence. I had very mixed emotions when I got back. Very happy no one was killed or wounded, but it sunk in to me that I should have been with my guys during Christmas. Christmas was a time to be with family. Those guys were my family, and I should have stayed, no matter what. I felt like I had abandoned them, and I felt guilt for it, as I still do today.
As we enter into this Christmas season, let's remember our families, no matter where they are. My son is flying missions "over there", and he will be with his crew for Christmas. They are his family during that time. We will miss him here, but know that he has is military family over there and will be with them for Christmas. Some people, for what ever reason, can't be with family. Remember them as well. In all other cases, rejoice in the celebration of Christ's birth, and enjoy this special time with your families.
To all our military, everywhere, my thoughts are with you. Thank you for what you do, and enjoy your military family while you are away from home.
I love you son. Thank you for what you do too. Merry Christmas! ~ Dad
Dan
