First, I want to apologize if some think I am beating this horse too much, but in my job, I see so many very poor examples of bad fathers, I just need to write and vent.
I've written before about fatherhood (you can see that post on this blog). And let me say that I am NOT a perfect dad, and have made plenty of mistakes myself. But this isn't about being a perfect dad, it's about being the best you CAN be, and know that what you do, will have some kind of effect on your children.
I work in a capacity, where every day, I see bad examples of fathers (mostly, but not exclusively). I see every day, where fathers are skirting their responsibilities to their children. In some cases (too damn many), I see fathers, fathering multiple children, with multiple mothers. And they are not taking care of ANY of them! These are not even MEN. These are sperm donors on legs.
By the way...those "moms", bare a great deal of responsibility too! Wanting the love of a man, who makes babies with multiple women, is NOT the love women need.
But to those men...those sperm donors on legs...YOU are NOT "men". Making babies is NOT manly. Mice can do that! But to help bring a baby into the world, then caring for that child, nurturing that child, providing for that child, financially and emotionally, IS what real men do.
There isn't a class on fatherhood that most men can take. Most men, learn their fathering from their own fathers, or someone else who has been something of a father figure to them. And that means good, and bad, fathering. If a man has had bad fathering, Lord hope they've had good mothering to help make up for it. Otherwise, that new father, will likely fall back on the only example they had to follow.
All that said, there are those, who consciously recognize the bad fathering they had, and work to overcome those examples and work hard at being good father. To those men, I applaud you.
We ALL make mistakes. We can ALL do, or have done, better. I am right there. But with all my mistakes, I have tried to be a good father. I think I have been a good father, and love my children more each day. Mine are grown and off on their own life adventures, but I miss them every day. I have some regrets though. And it is that I didn't spend as much time with them as I could have. I can not get that back.
Women - If you're looking for a "man", make sure he is a REAL man. Don't go for some flash in the pan dude with a good line and moves that move you. Look at "the man", and how he treats his mother, what his own father is like and treats his wife, and if that dude has multiple women and children.
Men - If you think being a man is about bringing multiple kids into the world, with multiple women, and caring for none of them....then I have a deal for you! I am offering my services to help you have all the fun you want, and none of the long term responsibilities. .... Oh... My "services"? Castration. I have sharp knives and if you just can't help yourself because you have less control than a mouse, then I can arrange for a little cut here, and little tug there, and snip snip, and you're good to go!
REAL MEN - Stand up for your women and your children. Be counted, and be counted on. And enjoy that real gift of being a DAD! It the best title I've ever had!!
