Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day (This is a re-POST from last year - Fatherhood)

Before reading the re-Post of the updated piece, let me say this.....
Happy Father's Day to ALL the dad's out there (present and past) who take that title seriously and truly LOVE their children. I celebrate this day with love for my children, and I celebrate YOU....the fathers of the world. - Dan

Fatherhood
I absolutely love being a father! I am Blessed to have great kids. And in all fairness to my ex-wife, it took both of us to help make that happen. "Dad", is a word that is like music to my ears when it comes from the mouths of my kids.

Okay - but to my topic of today - Fatherhood. Calling all fathers....calling all fathers..... Our kids need YOU. Our communities need YOU. Our nation needs YOU.

Even if you are divorced and live in a separate home than your kids, they need YOU in their lives. And they need the very best from you for guidance and example.

Some months ago, there was a news story of some VERY misbehaving boys, and the mother who left them alone in protest of their actions. Now I don't know all the story, but I did see one of the 4 boys yelling obscenities at the news crew. In essence, the story was about a single mom having very difficult challenges with her teen sons. Throughout the story, something was missing.... a DAD! Either the dad was dead, gone, or just plain derelict in his responsibilities in helping raise those boys. In any case, it was obvious those boys needed a strong male role model in their lives. Where was the dad?

Throughout my career in law enforcement,working on the streets and jail, I have seen countless kids, mostly boys, who either did not have an active dad in the picture, or a very bad one serving as an example for behavior. In either case, a REAL "father" was missing and the kids, and the community, were paying the price. I see kids all the time, where I think to myself, "That one will be in jail soon!" Our children learn more by example, or the lack of one, than by anything else. A "father" can be the strongest example a kid, specially a young boy, can have. (Even daughters need a good "dad", so they can gauge what a "man" should be like when she chooses a husband.) Boys will more likely (not in every case, some kids have other issues that can impair the parenting process), emulate the characteristics of the father, good or bad.

I once heard (or read?) somewhere - "Everyone can serve as an example, even if by being a bad one!" It's that way with fathers too. If a father treats his wife bad, the likelihood is that his male children will do the same. If a father is a drunk or does drugs, then it is far more likely that his children will too. Who could truly love their children, and want that for them?

MEN - If you don't want to be an active and participating "father", then don't father children! In MY opinion, ANY male (I won't use "man" for such lame a--holes) who fathers children and doesn't participate in raising them, should be castrated! (Actually, I'd also go for any women who help create fatherless children with multiple men, for pleasure, should be sterilized!) Yep... CASTRATE the bastards! No more creation of children by men who don't take responsibility. They are NOT real men, they are just sperm dispensers on legs.

To any male who should read this, who falls into that category of creating children and then NOT participating in raising them....... SHAME ON YOU. You are a spineless scrotebag simpleton with a penis for a brain! And if any such person should father multiple children with multiple women, and take care of none of them, I'm just fine with dumping their worthless body in a swamp!

As a nation, we tolerate far too much. And part of that, is tolerating such people and having the rest of us, saying nothing of the children who have to grow the best they can, pay for it all. The gators could eat well with all those who commit such acts. Hard? Damn right! Needed? Damn right!

I love my kids. I can't imagine this world without them. And I can't relate to those men who don't love their kids and want to be part of their lives, and to do well by them. To all those real dads out their, I salute you! Fatherhood is the greatest job out there.

To my children - I love you. I have made mistakes and I hope you see them for what they are and do better than I did. I hope too that you take all my best parts, and take them with you through your lives. You are already better than I am, and I am so pleased, and Blessed. Thank you God for my children. They are gifts beyond my deserving.

Dan

Re-Post Is She Terminal?

This is an updated rewrite of my earlier entry.

It saddens me, to see her so sick. She is down, and from the looks of her, she could be terminally ill. She's been through so much in her life. Many have attacked her, wounded her, trampled on her, tried so hard to make her disappear from the planet. Today, she is under such extreme attacks, and this time, from within her own family. If she goes, I just don't know what I'll do, and I am sad at the prospect.

America. Oh, how I love her name. America. Oh, how I love my country. America. Oh, how sad I am of what far too many are trying to do to her, make her become, make her into what she was never meant to be.

Why do I say all this? Because, today, it looks to me like the "government of the people, by the people, and for the people", has been plowed under by the swarm of hungry...power hungry... politicians and bureaucrats. The "government", even on local levels, has become the BIG manager in most all aspects of our lives and businesses. Now, with trillions of dollars of taxpayer money, BIG government has now decided what to do with OUR money...and our future money...and with our very lives.

While I liked George W. Bush, I had a number of disagreements with some of his policies. But today, with this new administration, what I am seeing, frankly, scares the crap out of me. The BIG government of today, is looking to be the GIGANTIC government in the coming few years. And with that, WILL come "socialism". How else can one say it? With the government injecting itself into our personal lives and business, and the government distribution of OUR personal wealth....what IS socialism otherwise? And can anyone count the Czars? And why Czars? Can't the officials who pass congressional scrutiny handle the jobs? Or, is the CONTROL Obama gets with Czars a bigger reason for them? (No congressional scrutiny!)

I am absolutely convinced that our forefathers would be up-in-arms over what they see today. In fact, they WERE up-in-arms some 230+ years ago. And WHY were they up-in-arms?They were fed up with the strong arms tactics and imposition of unfair taxes upon the colonies and the citizens of the New World. Great Britain, at that time, WAS the government. And THAT government wanted to impose its will, and taxes, in every way it saw fit to do. Sound familiar?

Well, TRILLIONS of dollars promised by THIS government, on top of the .7 Trillion before Bush left office, WHO will pay for all that? WHO will be taxed to pay for the sins and mistakes by our own government and big business? And when it comes down to it - just how many, what percent, of our citizens really wanted this, or want to pay for it?

THIS is NOT America. This is something else, but it is NOT America. Businesses grow. Businesses go under. The natural evolution of capitalism, has been circumvented by the rich and powerful. Now, our government will decide who makes it, and who won't. The ever increasing government hand, has now grown to control the direction of business, and us...we, the people.

BTW - Don't get me wrong here. I DO NOT blame rich (wealthy) people who earned their way and are good citizens and stewards of our national interest. But, there are those who will sell all of us down the river, for GREED. And there is the problem... unbridled GREED. GREED for money. GREED for power.

It seems to me that far too many in America, WANT the government to save us from ourselves, save us from our debt and the personal consequences of bad decisions. As long as the government hands us money, we'll go along with IT (big government). Give me a $600 or $400 tax rebate, and I'll shut up and let you do what ever you want......

I am sick at what we have become. And in November, we (I say we, because WE are all in this together.) voted in the biggest bunch of greedy people in the history of our country. And with that, we are being sold out. I weep for my America. I weep for the country that spread freedom, helped other people and countries in times of natural disaster and pain. I weep for those who came before us, and died in an effort to keep America free, and keep American as a land of "for the people, by the people". The people we have in Washington today, are NOT "the people", but they are there...BECAUSE we let them be there. The personal agendas and greed for power, is limitless. And Americans put them there. Shame on us.

So, I sit by the death bed of the America I love and have believed in. I watch helplessly as she succumbs to the trampling on the long held belief's of a nation of free people and non-intrusive government. Before long, her colors could remain, but the stripes will be removed, the stars gone, and some new "Obama-like" symbol will replace her. Letters and emails have failed, and I know of no cure to help. Good men sit by, and other men want to turn off her life support machine. Freedom of her people is old fashioned, in the eyes of our new power mongers.

Pardon my ramblings, and perhaps lack of delivery in this addition, but my sadness almost over-takes me and the grief I am feeling for what I fear is coming, has a grip on me.

Am I alone? Are there any other voices that share in this feeling?

God Bless America, for as long as we still have her. - Dan

PS. While not exclusive to Veterans, the sound of her name, America, and the songs about her, America, America the Beautiful, God Bless America, The Star Spangled Banner, etc., bring goose bumps to us, as does the raising or passing of our Flag. What is happening to America, is hard to swallow for THIS Veteran.

The cost of freedom

A good friend of mine called me. After his return from duty in Iraq, some three years ago, my friend was having some problems, and he had many mixed emotions about what he was feeling, and how he was reacting to them.

Without the details, which are his private matter, they are not new. ANYONE who has been to war, knows the effects of those experiences last a lifetime. While the experiences greatly vary, as does the effects on the lives of those haunted by the memories, Post Traumatic Stress has been going on for Veterans for generations.

As we read the daily news, we know of the costs of freedom by the death toll. There is easy access to the "count", and most relate those numbers as the cost. But the real cost goes far beyond those brave men and women, they extend to those who come home, those who come home with fewer parts than when they left our shores. Those parts, include part of their soul. And while not as visible to the passer-by, that part, that part that permitted them beforehand to enjoy life to the fullest, is often gone forever. It is not to be underestimated, that cost to those who serve.

Most of us (or, permit me to say, most of YOU), enjoy some pretty simple things, without any thought of those things being anything else. Confused? Let me try to explain, using my own limited experiences.

You sit in a theater, enjoying a movie, and afterward, return to your routine. You enjoyed the movie and popcorn. You went on with what ever you wanted to do.

You come home from work, walk in the house, and smell food cooking on the stove, thinking of how good that meal will taste.

You lay in bed on a nice spring night, listening to the rain fall. The spring grass smells sweet.

You and your family go to the zoo, enjoying the many, including the Asian, exhibits.

You take your family to your community's Memorial Day parade and watch as the Flag passes by.

Come summer, you and your family take in the community fireworks display, in celebration of the 4th of July.

To most, these are everyday events, and nothing is really felt or happens to you, beyond the event itself. And there's nothing wrong with that. It is all part of the American experience, part of the many freedoms we have.

But for thousands of Veterans, from all of our wars, those events are NOT the same. The sights, sounds, smells, and feelings that are simply enjoyed by most people, can sometimes send the Vet back to times past, and to the very experiences that inflicted painful memories.

Let me also say, that the PTSD effect can come upon those civilians who experience traumatic experiences from auto accidents, or as crime victims, or from natural disasters. I don't at all mean to minimize their lasting pain. But, for this discussion, I will focus on the war veteran, who very often experienced traumatic events over and over again, repeated many times during the course of their "tour of duty".

For this Veteran of Vietnam, I can attest to my own reflections, and from those of close friends who also served in other theaters of war, and in many capacities. And I can tell you that sights, sounds, feels, and smells, can set me off on any one of a number of directions. In some cases, I may just get moody, or be sad, or feel the urge to flee an area, or get angry. In some cases, I just may feel an overwhelming need to just cry.

May I add this important note. This is NOT limited to "combat" Vets. In our current War on Terror (Obama won't call it that, but it is.), we have seen everyone in that theater of operations become victims of bombings and shootings. In my war, there were doctors and nurses and supply clerks and mess-hall staff, who were also victims. How many of those support personnel were traumatized by what they went through or saw? You didn't, and don't have to, carry a rifle to be affected by the horror of war.

For those around me, they may have no idea I am going through anything. In some cases, some may see me act differently than just moments before. For those very close to me, they may see me get angry, or sad, or moody, or break down and cry.

And then, I may get feelings of anger at myself, for feeling this way. I may get upset that I "let it get to me". Add to that, the same feelings nearly 40 years later! "Shouldn't I be over this by now?" "Am I just being a pussy?" "Why the hell am I still feeling this way?"

In talking to other Vets, these feelings are NOT unusual. Not at all. Most of us bury then. But some days, some smell, some sound, some sight, just catches me off-guard, and I find myself back in time. A cold sweat, a chill, a feeling of the blood leaving my hands and face, and feeling of sadness. All of that can come without warning. And it can mess up my day, maybe a couple days.

Why do I bring all this up? Why now? Because, a good friend is going through all this, and I wish I could help. I wish people could understand. I wish HIS wound were more visible, so people could "see", could understand, his pain. While it does not reach the level felt by the families of those killed, or by those who feel the physical pains every minute of every day, my friend's pain is real. And just like those who die, and those who get wounded in such traumatic ways, it too is the cost of freedom for us all.

Those who walk free each day, owe such freedom to the thousands of freedom fighters our nation has had sacrifice for us. And to my friend...You are NOT alone. I thank you for your service, and your friendship. I'm here...anytime of day or night....just give me a call.