Warriors don't cry

It's 1969, and most of my days are hot, only to turn cold at night. So I sweat by day, and shiver by night. At the end of my day, I am thankful for being alive, and I pray to see another sunrise. Now, the darkness limits my sight, and my ears work over-time to compensate for what I can't see. I sleep in shifts, and even then, with my minds eye open. I cling to my weapon, ready for what may come, as times before has taught me what can. The fear I feel, pulsates through my soul. While my body is taunt with at-the-ready muscles, I try to rest. But, like a coiled snake ready to strike, I'm tense though out the night. Always ready. Always.

Not wanting to, I sometimes slip into thoughts of home. I miss the laughter, the smell of fresh air, the taste of a homemade pie, or burgers. I miss my family. Even as a young warrior in full battle gear, I miss my mother. Strange, how during times of fear, we are like little children and miss the tender security of our mother's arms. Yes, I miss home, but I fight to make those thoughts pass. I have to let it go. I can't linger in such thoughts of home. I force myself to focus on the duties of this day, because warriors don't cry.

The new day gives me visibility, but so too does it give light to my enemy. I set out with my buddies, hoping our training, our alertness, and each other, will give us the upper hand and make it through another day and night. Day and night, night and day. Like putting one foot in front of the other to get somewhere, we cautiously march the time through the days and nights, that will hopefully get us closer to going home.

In our other life, our life before this war, we were kids mostly, or young adults at most. Some came right out of high school. Others had real world jobs. Where ever we came from, here, now, we're in this together. No color, no wealth or poverty, not even the part of the country really mattered in this place. We wear the green, carry the weapons, and do what our country asks of us. At the end of the day, it is each other that we really fight for, and that coming of a new day.

At the start of each new day, we plan our missions and prepare our gear. We watch our backs and move out to do our jobs. In face of our fears, we do what we must anyway. Some nights we light up the sky, and during the day, well, more of the same. On some days, we grit through the toughest of times, when someone we know won't see another sunrise. Every day is a test of physical and mental endurance, and the facing down of our fears. After a while, it becomes a strange norm for us. We fear, we do our jobs, and at times, we tend to those fallen, then go on. We go on each day, putting one foot in front of the other, night after night, day after day. A warrior at all times. No matter what happens, warriors don't cry.

When we're done and our part of the mission is over, what do we tell our families? What can we tell our families? How can we tell our families? We don't. We can't. We don't know how. We're afraid to even try, because warriors don't cry. At least, not that we'll let you see.

Being a Dad

First, I want to apologize if some think I am beating this horse too much, but in my job, I see so many very poor examples of bad fathers, I just need to write and vent.

I've written before about fatherhood (you can see that post on this blog). And let me say that I am NOT a perfect dad, and have made plenty of mistakes myself. But this isn't about being a perfect dad, it's about being the best you CAN be, and know that what you do, will have some kind of effect on your children.

I work in a capacity, where every day, I see bad examples of fathers (mostly, but not exclusively). I see every day, where fathers are skirting their responsibilities to their children. In some cases (too damn many), I see fathers, fathering multiple children, with multiple mothers. And they are not taking care of ANY of them! These are not even MEN. These are sperm donors on legs.

By the way...those "moms", bare a great deal of responsibility too! Wanting the love of a man, who makes babies with multiple women, is NOT the love women need.

But to those men...those sperm donors on legs...YOU are NOT "men". Making babies is NOT manly. Mice can do that! But to help bring a baby into the world, then caring for that child, nurturing that child, providing for that child, financially and emotionally, IS what real men do.

There isn't a class on fatherhood that most men can take. Most men, learn their fathering from their own fathers, or someone else who has been something of a father figure to them. And that means good, and bad, fathering. If a man has had bad fathering, Lord hope they've had good mothering to help make up for it. Otherwise, that new father, will likely fall back on the only example they had to follow.

All that said, there are those, who consciously recognize the bad fathering they had, and work to overcome those examples and work hard at being good father. To those men, I applaud you.

We ALL make mistakes. We can ALL do, or have done, better. I am right there. But with all my mistakes, I have tried to be a good father. I think I have been a good father, and love my children more each day. Mine are grown and off on their own life adventures, but I miss them every day. I have some regrets though. And it is that I didn't spend as much time with them as I could have. I can not get that back.

Women - If you're looking for a "man", make sure he is a REAL man. Don't go for some flash in the pan dude with a good line and moves that move you. Look at "the man", and how he treats his mother, what he own father is like and treats his wife, and if that dude has multiple women and children.

Men - If you think being a man, is about bringing multiple kids into the world, with multiple women, and caring for none of them....then I have a deal for you! I am offering my services to help you have all the fun you want, and none of the long term responsibilities. .... Oh... My "services"? Castration. I have sharp knives and if you just can't help yourself because you have less control that a mouse, then I can arrange for a little cut here, and little tug there, and snip snip, and you're good to go!

REAL MEN - Stand up for your women and your children. Be counted, and be counted on. And enjoy that real gift of being a DAD! It the best title I've ever had!!